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A Marriage of Mutual Utility. Posted 29 Jul 2011

A Marriage of Mutual Utility. Posted 29 Jul 2011



Driving at an unearthly hour this morning, the resident audio book ( Now playing " Bee Season"  by Myla Goldberg ) threw out more (punch )lines than I can remember, with such a kapow!


Here are two I like.

"She has often felt that her outsides were too dull for her insides, that deep within her there was something better than what everyone else could see." 

"Miriam realizes she is a broken vessel, pieces of her scattered everywhere. She has been finding those pieces, in their many forms, and bringing them together so she can be whole again." 

Then there was one more - " A Marriage of Mutual Utility". This one latched on like an unwelcomed guest and wouldn't go away. Traditional wedding vows always contain the obligatory " For Better or Worse...till death do us part." Perhaps couples should just say it as it is " For better...or until your utility value runs out." Ugh, doesn't sound terribly romantic or palatable in the least. Many do not even go through the motions anymore, they move in and move out, like changing furniture, or clothes, for that matter.

 I chew on that and reflected on 23 years of being a Mrs of my bff and soulmate.

Back in the Garden of Eden, when God made Eve for Adam, God ordained marriage to be a sacrament. Gen 2:23 " And Adam said: This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of me." Vs 24 " Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

One flesh. Not even two halves of a whole. Other than dead cells like nails and hair follicles, which somethimes shed much faster than you'd wish, the rest are living and it hurts when you try to cut yourself up. Worse, if there are off-spring, who "did not ask to be born" and do not have a voice when mum and dad go their separate ways.

 Children are resilient creatures and would put on a great show to convey the message that parents so desperately want to hear - things are gonna be alright, we move on, just like you do. But do they? The scars will remain, hidden deep within their psyche. At some point, they rear their ugly heads in different forms and degrees. Children become part of that "one flesh" as well. 

Just musings, or recollections of ex-client confidentials, or accounts of the once deeply troubled,now delivered...there is enough to back it up. Divorces are not pleasant events, nor are they as one-off incidents.

Now for the good news.
Prov 18:22 - " He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord."
Conclusion - all married men are favoured.

My part of the bargain is to live out Prov 31:10-31 and Eph 6:22
GG's part of the bargain - vs 31a - "Give her of the fruit of her hands." and Eph 6:25
No questions asked, no credit limit, no ceiling. 

Not a bad exchange. Proverbs was written by the wisest man ever lived. But GG is as wise when it comes to the this thing called "marriage" - " When my wife is happy, I am happy and everyone is happy! " Amen.
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