Life's Little Light-Bulb Moments-Monday. Posted 26 Jul 2011

Life's Little Light-Bulb Moments-Monday. Posted 26 Jul 2011

Monday morning: bleery-eyed, grouchy, ready to snap at the slightest hint of intrusion of private space or any excuse to do so - make that the three of us. It is 6.15 am.

 All is quiet and dark around us, save for the sounds of mindless squabbling , AGAIN. Mum is NOT amused by such antics of overgrown children especially when she has to drag herself out of bed at such an unearthly hour to play chauffeur.

"Are you guys done yet?" I barked. I waited for the reluctant but obligatory, barely there whispers of "sorry"  before I reluctantly climbed into the driver's seat.

( Someimes, I almost wish they will eye-ball each other at the porch and get into a fist fight, giving me sufficient ammo to leave them there and go back to bed. I will repent for such devious thoughts after I wake up )  Not happening today, anyway.

What followed for the next half hour, with a captive audience of two half-asleep ( or fully? ) beings, was the mandatory mummy monologue. " You know, " I started off, addressing D at the front passenger seat, " it was not too long ago when people asked me about you, and I would declare " D has no mean bone in his body." 

I turned my head and looked at A seated behind ( only for a split second, ok? ) " as for you, I am not sure whether there are two different As, one residing at this address, and the other A who is outside. "  A raised her eyebrows quizically, puzzled. I went on " it is almost as if there are two completely different personalities - one who taunts, teases, and takes perverse delight in aggravating D to melting point; and the other who is the epitome of " sugar, spice, and all things nice" to other people.

" You folks are now in your tunnel years..." the unfathomable pre-teen and teenage cocoon stage, I continued. " Now, when people ask me about you, I would say " Work-in-progress". " What you cultivate as a teen will usually follow you closely into adulthood..." I said, sagely. " so while you are busy figuring out who or what you are, don't forget all about your true self, in the meantime, or let it get lost altogether. 

By this time, D was well into la-la land, and I poked him back into reality. " D, I said with motherly patronage, " Remember your true self, you have no mean bone in your body. Mum knows you." I turned to A again ( for another split second ) and said, " A, your true self is that you are a daughter of grace. Being mean and spiteful is not graceful."

I paused from my soliloquy ( feeling rather good about it ) and brought them back in time to a place and incident not too far away, last year, when we went down South of the border and spent almost 6 weeks in a sort-of Summer camp, surrounded by mostly beautiful people. 

There was one, however, who was challenging. I related an incident where this individual even got into a spate with D and A. I told D I was proud of the way he stood up to her,like David vs Goliath,  being a person of few words, but when he spoke up, it counted. I said that it was very tough for me to bite my tongue and contain my spitting venom but I did just that.

 Coming from someone who needs to have the last word everytime...I have metamorphed into someone or something else - some call it maturity. THis time, both D and A were fully awake and listening. On graduation day, this same person came up to me and apologised. Yes,oh yes, it was the sweetest "sorry" I've ever heard! 

Back to handing out unsolicited motherly advice again - I said that it is definitely easier to bite the bullet and say nothing if there's nothing positive to say, than to have to eat humble pie and say that WORD later to someone I'd preferred to scratch instead. ( Nat, if you're reading this, I took your advice v seriously). 

And so I threw them the challenge - rise above the situation, and do not go down to another's level, when that person is being negative and you are sorely tempted to respond in kind, multiplied by the power of nth. Nothing beats having to say that dreaded WORD later, to the least deserving person. Let that person say it to you instead ...ah, such sweet strains from a single WORD, and what a wide range of emotions it evokes.

And...as they opened the car door, preparing to slam it, " don't forget your true self."