On ageing etc. The Measure of a Woman

On ageing etc. The Measure of a Woman

Youth is a commodity squandered recklessly by those who have it, and yearned lustfully by those who have lost it.

At 40, I was given a timely reminder by the postal service when a package arrived, declaring my eligibility for ELDERSHIELD. It brought a lump to my throat. I felt truly, deeply, utterly sorry for myself. The moment of truth has arrived and delivered without a tad of tact.

There are many challenges for people in the era of the quarantaine. Whether this is in part due to French humour or in reality, some people do check into a quarantine when they hit a certain age,  ( life is over! ) Go figure. Just a few days' ago, I was browsing at the magazine section in a local library when a geeky-looking sort walked up and asked me for the time. Once upon a time, I would have thought the person may have intentions of other kinds, BUT now, face it, Auntie, he IS just asking for the time.

Besides having to get used to being called "auntie" by all and sundry, more weigthy issues crop up.

That child only YOU can consider cute has morphed into someTHING unrecognisable which grunts, impossible to dislodge from the computer terminal, and gobbles up food by the tons. No longer cute. Conversations with yourself, while addressing this THING which stares into space, are commonplace. While I was going on a self-absorbed soliliquy , the THING went into sleep mode. I made a mental note to change content, or tone of voice, or both.

Medical conditions and statistics of a certain kind are hard to resist as conversation topics. Even more moribund is the urge to linger at the obituary pages of the daily newspapers, occasionally glimpsing a face of someone you used to know, of the same era. You entreat your loved ones who have brought you up with more tenderness and an impending sense of loss, knowing that there will come a time when they will no longer be here with you.

Retirement, mid-life crisis, menopause and andropause for guys too macho or ignorant to admit it, empty nest ( for those with children who have met expectations ), report books decorated with  red  (for those with children who have not ) , frenzied trips to tuition and enrichment classes ( for those with children somewhere in between ), impossible work schedules, holidays to get away from stress  which translates into getting back to more stress , flu vaccines with built-in side effects, genetically modified "healthy" foods like canola oil, soya beans, corn, and now salmon - to eat or not to eat, going organic -only select food with some holes in them ( if it's  good enough for  the worm, it's good enough for me! )

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

On approaching the wrong end of a certain decade, with the next one creeping up, I was forced to take stock of life and asked some tough questions- Do I belong to the lot that continues to live lives of "quiet desperation" or the lot that live lives in peaceful contemplation? What sort of legacy do I want to leave behind, besides children who, hopefully, have a string of degrees behind them...surely the buck does not stop here? Narcissism is sometimes good for the soul, but altruism is always better. Do ask the right questions - you'd never know where it'll lead you to.

I also pondered on the question of what really makes a woman beautiful ( without going for certain tox treatments that begin with a "b" or "d" or ends with a "c" ). As if in answer to a prayer, out pops a book from the shelves of a popular haunt that screams "buy me". "The Measure of a Woman " by Gene A. Getz and Elaine A. Getz. As it often happens, I don't need much persuasion to buy just about anything...

In a nutshell, the book quotes Titus 2:3-5. It's a mentoring model. ( now er Titus, where are you? )

...Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers, or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to  be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

1. To be reverent in the way they live - reflecting God's Character

2. Not to be slanderers - being peacemakers

3. (not to be ) addicted to much wine - finding freedon in Christ

4. To teach what is good - Communicating Godliness

5. To love their husbands

6. To love their children

7. To be self-controled - Being wise and sensible

8. To be pure

9. To be  busy at home- Being Exemplary Homemakers ( Does having a maid count? )

10. To be kind - Doing good works

11. To be subject to your husband

Some parts of that are really hard to live by. 

I have asked the right questions, gotten my bearings and am off on a journey...I don't know exactly where I'm going but I know who's guiding me. 

I also know I'm going to be truly beautiful when I turn 90. Preparations for the treatment are under way.