Skip to main content

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word - Part 2

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word - Part 2

Turning back the clock. 

 I'm a little girl with big dreams. I came home from school one day after a class session on "What do you want to be when you grow up?" It seemed natural to share it with Mummy. I told her. She laughed out loud and thought it real funny, without meaning to be cruel. BUT it was CRUEL. When I grew up, I never came close to that path I once thought I would take. If only she'd said SORRY...

Growing up, my face was fertile ground for acne attack. The more intense the attacks, the more self-conscious I got, and the more I withdrew into the world of books instead of social networks. Mummy would chose those moments to remind me about the zits on my face as if I did not know they exist; and give timely advice about washing my face ( isn't 3 times a day enough? ) and refraining from chocolates, chilli and other "heaty" stuff which I could only savour in my imagination.
If only she'd said something else...

In secondary school, I scrimped and scrounged on records ( now a thing of the past ) and amassed a sizeable collection over time. They disappeared one day, disposed of, given to the "karang guni" man. Mummy said that they were taking up space in the house and "no one listens to these things anymore".
Well, I am someone. If only she'd known that...

At college, Mummy thought it best for me that I studied Science instead of the Arts. In legal parlance, it's called "undue influence". I obeyed. Did she know that I struggled with Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry everyday of the entire two-year course? No, she didn't. In her time, the ones who did Science were the smart(er) ones. 
If only she'd asked me...

Mummy loved me and still does, in the detached  Asian way she knows how. 

Now I am all grown up and the tables are turned. I do not want to be an Asian parent or go the way of "the Amy Chua".
I have learnt that littler people do have a voice, and they do bleed when stabbed. 

So I talk less and listen more, paying special attention  to the non-verbal cues.

AND once in a while, remember to say SORRY.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Graduation ( First posted on thebarefootfoodie.org on 17 Oct 2014 )

  Through the years The Terrific Two  K2 Graduation[/caption] Fast Forward today - JC 2 Graduation Me and my Boy[/caption] Today I had a lump in my throat, a glistening in the eyes and a deep sense of pride in this young man beside me, no longer little but still my baby, for always.  I get all mushy over this As I sat through the graduation ceremony, it brought back memories of mine, some 34 years ago to the class of 80S61 in HJC.  I am convinced that D, like me, had two of his best years in SRJC, and that he will leave college with friends for life, confidence to face the "A"levels exams in two weeks' time, integrity and grace to weather the future. D graduates from SRJC D, you are always full of surprises behind that thoughtful and silent demeanor. At the reception, I was asked whether my child was a prize-winner, and I casually said " I don't think so". You did not prepare me for this. Your name popped out in the programme and so did my eyes! Your ...

New Perspectives

  So What If The Day Started Badly This morning, as I was reversing my car out of the porch for a dental appointment, I drove right into a van who just happened to park in front of the house across the road, right at the very instant. The knee jerk instinct was to feel sorry and angry with myself at the same time. I said a little prayer for comfort and that the rest of the day would turn out better, with small mercies along the way. I also texted G, telling him what happened and that I was a little shaken by the incident, trivial as it was. The text came back " No worries". It was all the comfort I needed - no judgment, no reproof, just a quiet understanding and acceptance. The Rest Of the Day Got the tooth fixed, had my comfort food for lunch, left car with dented bumper with mechanic, took a bus to Ang Mo Kio library to while away the time. Along the way, discovered my favorite Yong Tau Foo franchise had moved to the food centre here, much nearer home, and also picked up a ...

Putting Things Together ( Le Cadeau Chapter 11 ) ( first posted on thebarefootfoodie.org on 3 Oct 2016 )

  Putting Things Together ( Le Cadeau Chapter 11 ) OCTOBER 3, 2016 BAREFOOT HOME I am quite the shameless, consummate serial shopper. Until quite recently, I was mostly preoccupied with my wardrobe and how to get the best deal out of Ebay, Amazon and Vpost with online purchases. Now, I am solely preoccupied with kitchen and pantry; and still looking for deals. Before this house grew up, I was shopping for a virtual dream house and picking up stuff along the way, either at home or abroad, with the intent of fitting them somewhere in a corner where they belong. Mr Y felt this weighing heavily upon his shoulders as he put the finishing touches to the house. I wanted Al Fresco dining,an outdoor kitchen and a coffee bar amongst other things and along with it trudged years of stray, accumulated odds and ends which I considered cute but Mr Y sadly did not. Despite his protests ( which I did not take seriously ) the man rose to the occasion and managed to place several of the strays into t...