Sorry Seems to be the hardest Word , Part 1
On Monday, A. broke the news in the car that she missed the passing mark for her Math Semester Paper - by a big margin. It did not help that the outcome of her Science paper is also hanging by a thread.
Something snapped inside and I turned into a raving, ranting, screaming lunatic.( no full-moon required! ) I did not pause to reflect on A's comment that more than half her class suffered the same fate. I became the mother of all broken records. Only when A was sufficiently humiliated, deflated and her spirits reduced to smithereens did I let up. Happy at last to let it out of my system.
I did not stop here - D got it from me as well. I continued the rhetoric with a lecture on what a poor role model he was, and his sister is right behind his tracks. No fury hurled like a mother's unmet expectations!
On Tuesday, I had a brief conversation with K, my sis-in-law, who is a primary school teacher. She mentioned in passing that her whole class failed to pass Math, a subject she teaches. Either she is not delivering the goods, or the goods never reached their destination...or that the specifications were changed without prior notice. Quite a coincidence. Anyone else with children in P5 please leave comments on this state of affairs.
Guilt-striken at last, I felt like saw-dust. I summoned up the courage and swallowed my pride to say SORRY to A for screaming at her. I promised her I would not do this again, and if ever I did, will she please remind me that " I am losing it!
D - please read this posting in FB and consider it my apology to you too. I am SORRY.
A, full of grace, accepted the apology and I am pretty sure she will take me at my word. SORRY - a five-letter word that is so hard to say, especially to the weaker and smaller among us - example our children, domestic help, the elderly, the less fortunate...( ok, I draw the line at the two-legged sort only ). At that moment, we made a connection, a tie that binds, a deposit for future clashes ahead.
Mummy's not perfect but she's trying hard to get there.
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