2020
This has been a year of rude awakenings and tough resolve.
It began like any other year, with champagne and song, parties and celebrations, hope and expectation. That gradually morphed into gloom, slowdown, standstill, paralysis as covid, circuit breaker, stay-home notice, social distancing, zoom, and the pandemic dominated our lives.
In March, I bade farewell to a good friend. We had been close but somehow over the last two years, we haven’t quite caught up. The next thing I knew I was attending her memorial service on a stormy day. She had been suffering from cancer. It was aggressive, brutal and relentless. How wrong I was to think that there’s no distance or time that separates a friendship. If only I had called or written to catch up with just a simple ” Let’s catch up” or “Let’s do lunch, haven’t seen you for a while…” If only she had done the same. Why didn’t I know? Maybe I wasn’t close enough for her to confide in. If only…
In August, my Aunt Annie passed away. She was a pillar of strength in her family, her kindness and support changed my life forever, and she was that spark that never failed to light up the room. But for years, she was suffering from poor health and that day eventually came when she stopped fighting.
Covid is cruel. It hits you when you cannot be physically there to pay your last respects to a loved one, to look into her face for one last time. In its place, there is the cold dispassionate substitute of a white screen, transmitted via satellite across borders and boundaries. I could not say goodbye and I could not grieve. Now, as I write, the tears are beginning to form and I am slowly coming to terms with a torrent of suppressed emotions.
Then there are those you know who have lost loved ones. It is a rocky journey ahead but we can all identify with grief in one way or another. It is enough to be present and to be there whenever, however, to show that you care. I have been there before and I am thankful to be surrounded by people who love and care for you when you most needed them.
2020 will be a year of gratitude. I am thankful for my loved ones, family and friends. I am cherishing the memories of those who have passed on, and savouring the moments with those who are here with me.
As this year draws to a close, the mood is sobering but also expectant. It is like a sliver of light in an overcast sky. On a macro scale, we have vaccines, travel bubbles, re-openings, hello 2021. Surely there is light at the end of the tunnel.
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