Live A Deliberate Life
The other day at a discussion group meeting, these thought-provoking questions came up – What is best for you? What’s keeping you from giving those “best things” the time and energy they deserve? Are too many good things getting in the way?
We were a bunch of 40 and 50 somethings, busy with one hundred and one things or more. All at once, it stopped us in our tracks to briefly step off the treadmill to reflect and ponder on what matters most , which in a rather illusive way, has escaped us all these decades.
My significant other started off with his musings that when he was younger, he used the 4Fs as things that were important – Family and Friends; Fitness; Financial Stability, and Faith ( not in order of priority ) . Now, he still finds his work meaningful, with family closest to his heart, and putting more effort to exercise and to build up his faith besides being a Sunday pew warmer. Friendships are more cherished, including those from long ago. He makes time to reconnect and renew old ties. I thought he summed it up well.
Another reflected that while spending time with family is most important, her work takes up long hours and by the time she gets home, they are already in bed. At the same time, she loves her work, which is in social services, helping the marginalised and underprivileged.
” I work like crazy 5 days a week and look forward to home as a refuge on weekends.” I want a certain lifestyle for the family and the work gives me that . At the end of a hectic workday, I think there’s always tomorrow to relax….But is there?”
Her children describe her as “the turbo engine that keeps the rest of the family running”. She can’t stop the momentum. There is a concern that if she slows down, the rest will not be able to function. But is that really the case?
Another feels she is living her life backwards. Instead of enjoying a comfortable job as a senior academic with a doctorate in Psychology, she is embarking on her second career as a relatively junior enforcement officer at the Ministry of Social and Family Development, dealing with kids at risk. It is not for the pay, which is peanuts, compared to what she used to draw before, but the conviction that comes from doing something meaningful and altruistic, and the exposure to the life “out there” which is stark, raw, and very real.
What about me? I have reached a point in my life where I have learnt to slow down and be mindful of what I am doing. We all have the same number of hours, minutes and seconds to a day. Living deliberately and meaningfully, doing things I enjoy, keeping the company I want, not sweating the small stuff, treasuring relationships, re-connecting with traditions and building legacies, reaching out to communities – I am content.
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